Friday, December 24, 2004
today.. was hectic. it started out really well. and i've been waiting for this since who-knows-when. till.. it turned out this way. it didnt have to, it shouldnt have. its probably my fault. i have no idea. i cant blame anyone, i dont think anyone should be anyway. things dont always go the way we want em to. its not within our control. i just hope you wont put the blame on em, it isnt their fault entirely. we came together, worked together.. now, we take the blame together. we go through weal and woe together. it was never a one-man show. we aimed, we strived and persevered. we hoped for the best, but things screwed up. people got frustrated, they werent satisfied. its like as if giving our BEST just wasnt enough. they wanted more, they expected standard. we gave our all, we put our mind and soul to it. it was our only goal - achieving what we set out for. along the way the path daunted us, but we held on and stood firm. it was the only way to go, for SUCCESS. but no one told us that it needed more than that, that we were falling behind. sucked into the powerful vortex of "death", the road leading to FAILURE.. dismay.. diappointment ... i feel sorry for us, for me.. we tried so hard but to no avail. it turned out a disaster. the damage is done; the mess is made. its almost impossible to believe those words. they were cold, but they were real. they made us realise our mistakes, our flaws and wrongs. how could it have been possible?! us?! we were the ELITE force, the CHOSEN ones. yet we reflected nothing but fault, carrying it wherever we went. it was despicable, wrong and it put us to SHAME. it killed our reputation, destroyed our honour. sure, "laws are made to be broken".. but we, as the ones who promote the LAW, break them. abuse our authority, power and position. it is something not the least expected from us, yet we do not practise what we preach (pardon the cliche). oh! the day has just been a utter disappointment, i'll have to retreat to a corner and think through today's happenings. everything went too fast, too soon. we could hardly grasp it, then put things straight. NO, it made no room for us to come in, it excluded us from the picture.. and it did every moment of that with relish, selfishly savouring our downfall. what evil and cruelty exists in this cold world! i am utterly shocked! my life is chaos. there's no turning back..
all messed up;
11:03 AM
