ARGH. I CAN JUST LIKE DIE RIGHT NOW. GUESS WHAT? tmr is CEDAR'S ANNUAL TRACK & FIELD MEET! gosh. and i'm running! :|| my legs are all wobbly already! so scared. so scared. AHHHH! what to do! i'm running for two 4x100m relay events! one for 2P/BOUGAINVILLEA and the other for Prefectorial Board. argh. its so freaky when i have to represent the whole Board?! argh. plus i am that bad ... :|| AHHH! kill me. i don't wanna run. i can't take this pressure! and now valerie is talking about some stalker. ARGH. why are things so screwed. so stressed. so stressed. i hate myself. i can't ... ARGH!!!
all messed up;
9:03 PM
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
this week kicked off to a BAD start. i don't even get what the crapp is happening. everything's passing by. argh. i'm getting irritated. irritated at nothing. that's the worst part. anwyay. my mood hasn't been any better. everything is just so sick. math common test yesterday killed me. i'm like the living dead now?! and today's lit test ... ARGH! lit was supposed to be what i like best... maybe not anymore. i dont know. but then again. nahh. it isn't that bad. i'm not giving up on lit just because of 1 stupid test. grr. anyway. i don't care anymore. i just HATE EVERYTHING.
all messed up;
8:34 AM
Monday, April 18, 2005
tmr is the TWO HUNDRED METRE event. i doubt i can run. argh. but i must push on for BOUGAINVILLEA, cause we rule! yeah, #1. i hope that our cheerleading will win too! yepp. anyway. i can't wait for friday. cause then it'll be our cedar annual track & field meet. cool huh. and i'm participating in the 4 by 100m relay. yay, our class MUST win! ((: if the first win during the heats did not boost our ego, i don't know what else will! kekex. 2P all the way! and, of course, keeping in mind BOUGAINVILLEA. harhar. well. tmr's MONDAY again. sure, monday blues. but i don't really feel sick on mondays. i hate FRIDAYs the most, well, that's surprising i know. kekex. i guess you would to, when your friday is that hectic. argh. whatever. whee~ i am STUPIDD. i think i've gone bonkers. too much stress?! harhar. i got a MATH common test tmr. argh. i will try to study, but i'm gonna fail it anyway. i don't wanna. it isn't my choice. argh. i can't wait for it to pass me by. i'm just gonna sit for it. then freak out let it go. i love this line of avril's. its really cool. oh well. a lil' late, but..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANABELLA! argh. another present on the list. i'm feeling too 'paiseh'. i'm broke too! ... dont worry! you will still get your present. sooner or later.. kekex ((:
all messed up;
9:10 AM
Friday, April 15, 2005
i feel stupid. life nowadays is just totally gone haywire. what is this LIFE i'm leading. it all comes to no use. sometimes i really wonder: 'what i'm i studying for? why am i even here?' everything just doesn't feel worth living for. its hard to trust God, even though i know i should. its all His Plan. but, things never seem to go the way we want it to. but LIFE IS UNFAIR. it never was. it never will be. i've said this a billion times before. argh. i mean, when you think about it, even the richest man on earth can't keep his treaures forever, much less his life. he has to go someday. will life ever be FAIR as to let us live on? till the end of time? nope. i don't know what it is with me. everything's coming undone. why do i even bother putting in my best effort in everything, when i don't benefit at all. i don't see what's the point. i feel stupid. i don't deserve the authority i'm given anyway. what's the use of having it, but not using it? hmm. there's a math test tmr. i can just DIE. sit there and ROT. why do i strive so hard? why do i push myself? what's my driving force? i never know. i hope its God; it'd better be. in fact, it ought to. darn. i feel like a total idiot. this is so stupid. i don't even know what i want from life now. argh. i can hardly find words to describe how i feel deep down inside anymore ...
everything's just SCREWEDD. i hate this. i can't help it. but i hate MYSELF.
all messed up;
1:03 PM
Thursday, April 14, 2005
yes!! 2P rules! yes! we did it for BOUGAINVILLEA.muahahaha. you know why!! i can't believe it. we actually won overall 1st in the whole sec 2 level for 4 x 100m relay, sports day heats!! whee~ i can hardly contain my excitement. so cool! lalela. YAY. so happy. i was running! so of course i feel happy. kekex. i can't believe it. but... looking at it in a pessimistic point of view... 1) its only the HEATS.
2) we won partly because all the other good runners from track (like jia yuan and gracelyn) were at the x-country nationals! so we got the upperhand.
oh well. but i guess its, in a way, still an achievement! WOW. this has never, and i stress NEVER happened before. how cool can this get!!!haha. oh kae.. i'm just so so so elated that i think i'm suffering from breathing problems. harhar. thats funny. oh, plus the x-country runners did us proud! hehe. at the nationals. they were GOOD. ok, i have an english summary test tmr, so yepp. tata! :))
but first, i'd have to note how cool it is that our whole team from our 2P, we're all CHRISTIANS. kekex. that was coincidental. but so cool. yepp. thank God for the results in the race! whee~ :))
all messed up;
10:40 AM
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
ok, lets count the number of days its been since i last blogged. 1 thousand, 2 thousand, 3 thousand... (voice trails off..) 2 HOURS LATER ... ah ha! i've calculated it to be.. *pauses sharks and dolphins! i forgot. oh forget it :)) KEKEX. anyway, its been really busy, and yepp. i don't get it. its rather ironic, cause most of the time when i blog, its the time that i'm the busiest. i have TWO COMMON TESTS tmr! how great is that. like 'WOW'. harhar. argh. probably my way of relieving stress. oh well. i feel weird right now :|| i think i know why. that's cause my werld is crashing down on me!! *pieces of rock from the ceiling hit my head.. ouch! oh, that hurt. hehe. i can't believe i can still be so lame even when i'm this stressed. must be the result of being stressed. argh. you think i've studied?! well yeah, a lil'. but i'm not confident :|| oh whatever. i guess its in my BLOOD to be LAME. yepp. i don't really care anyway, since in a matter of time, i'm gonna be buried in this RUBBLE! then, all my troubles will fade away... yepp. its LIFE. oh, i have to say RCY is so interesting. hehe. because i am mean, and i am "KPO". but its funn... when i get to hear ... STUFF. yepp. won't go any further. kekex. people who know! SHHH! private and confidential. oh kae then, i'd really better go study. (though i really have no idea what i'm studying - its all a MESS) but yepp. off i go. tralala. whee~ oh oh oh. before i go, i have to announce this over the net!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIANG JOO! kekex. i haven't given you your present yet :|| soon kae. don't worry. harhar :))
all messed up;
12:26 PM