i feel stupid. life nowadays is just totally gone haywire. what is this LIFE i'm leading. it all comes to no use. sometimes i really wonder: 'what i'm i studying for? why am i even here?' everything just doesn't feel worth living for. its hard to trust God, even though i know i should. its all His Plan. but, things never seem to go the way we want it to. but LIFE IS UNFAIR. it never was. it never will be. i've said this a billion times before. argh. i mean, when you think about it, even the richest man on earth can't keep his treaures forever, much less his life. he has to go someday. will life ever be FAIR as to let us live on? till the end of time? nope. i don't know what it is with me. everything's coming undone. why do i even bother putting in my best effort in everything, when i don't benefit at all. i don't see what's the point. i feel stupid. i don't deserve the authority i'm given anyway. what's the use of having it, but not using it? hmm. there's a math test tmr. i can just DIE. sit there and ROT. why do i strive so hard? why do i push myself? what's my driving force? i never know. i hope its God; it'd better be. in fact, it ought to. darn. i feel like a total idiot. this is so stupid. i don't even know what i want from life now. argh. i can hardly find words to describe how i feel deep down inside anymore ...
everything's just SCREWEDD. i hate this. i can't help it. but i hate MYSELF.
all messed up;
1:03 PM
elyssa
cedar 11sep91
t&f xiaomeii
theminizoo
squirrel yellow-ed random!