my jigsaw puzzle life.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

yuck yuck yuck-

today was disgusting. totally. i don't even wish to talk about it. ~~i cried~~. sorreh, i couldn't help it. what do you expect when you do so badly for everything. freak-

sorreh dajie. sorreh for dao-ing you this afternoon. sorreh. i wasn't ready. i wasn't in the mood to actually talk about it. sorreh. but i did badly anyway. i screwed it. i've disappointed you. sorreh. sorreh.

sorreh pamela. if you're angry at us. or me, for that matter. for screwing things up. for being such a stupid kid. its my fault. i know. i'm a PC. there's a standard i have to meet. sorreh i've let you down. sorreh i ~~failed~~.

sorreh sec 4's. sorreh excos. sorreh janica. sorreh PCs. sorreh everyone. sorreh retard 2. for making you feel scared. sorreh eunice. for making you cry. sorreh vicki. you had to listen to me crap. sorreh yusin. you had to be concerned. sorreh arica. i think i made you feel worse. sorreh liu kun. for being so dao. sorreh kelly. for brushing you aside when you asked me about my results. sorreh conhwa. for not smiling when i walked past you. sorreh piggeh. for being stupid. sorreh dajie. for me.

i don't want to die. no. but i have no choice. i will. i am going to. i can't get into a ~~science~~ class. i can't. reality. i'm stupid. i realleh am. maybe for the rest of the tests i was over reacting, pushing it too far. but this time. i'm not.

everyone else got 80+++ but me. (sorreh eunice) why me. B3, shit marks.

nothing's going right. i'm just fading away.. just let me ~~die~~ dajie. sorreh i have to do this. i can't. i can't fight my other self. i can't control it. i am weak. sorreh. so sorreh.

~~just kill me. let me go~~. i can't go on. how can i. i hate the freaking mask. sorreh piggeh. maybe you could teach me how to be genuine. gahh-

sorreh everyone. for making y'all concerned. or even letting you know i existed. how could i have been so selfish as to try and attract your attention. i shouldn't have. just forget me. you don't know me. no, you don't.

retard 2. i'm sorreh about today. sighs. we couldn't make it. sighs. you had some other more impt things to attend to. i guess we have to hold it on friday. ~~my last day here~~. you went. so early. left me alone. for the whole day. yuck- no one to comfort me.

and you. how could you do that too. i was left alone. with no one to help me. no one to listen. no one who realleh cared. bahh-

i don't wanna listen to any of this shit anymore.

all messed up;
5:15 PM